Praising Your Son

Your teenage son is a man in whom the Creator has placed a need to be needed and respected. For him, praise, recognition, and admiration are more important than anything else. He doesn't even realize this, but intuitively strives toward places where he will receive this. He may have leadership qualities embedded in him, or he may be a follower and diligent executor, but in any case, his heart desires to hear worthy evaluation addressed to him.

We read in Luke 8:11: "...The seed is the word of God." Parents are given the authority to be God's representatives and to form their child's character and personality with their words. Words of blessing and curse have special power in the spiritual world and can set the direction of life, describe those goals that will be achieved, or be destructive and program failure and many problems.

A teenage son, though still young, is already a man who is being transformed externally and internally day by day. And along with his body, his mind matures. He greatly needs spiritual support from his parents, proper self-identification, objective recognition of him as a free personality. With their words of praise and approval, parents can become a blessing in the young man's further development. We read in Proverbs 18:21: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

Many fathers and mothers do not understand what power their words carry and how they can be embodied and materialized in their son's life. And this ignorance makes them spontaneous well-wishers who say not what is needed for their son's successful development, but what they feel or consider right and just, even if it is destructive to the psyche.

Such words of blessing as: "You will be a good father!" establish a goal that is not so unattainable and difficult. And if they say: "In you, son, is laid enormous good potential that will develop and multiply over the years!" then this will also be fulfilled in the near future.

Don't look at the teenager's mood and indifference. He perfectly hears everything you say, how much it corresponds to reality, how sincere you are, and be assured that all your kind words of blessing will bring good fruit at the right time.

If you haven't monitored your speech before, then beginning to organize it will be difficult, but start and don't stop. Develop in yourself the habit of seeing the good, the positive, for which you can praise or thank the teenager. Dwell on those good motives that manifest in him, to specially note this. Don't be afraid to say kind words that will help him see his good qualities through your eyes. Pay as little attention as possible to mistakes and failures, and if they were clearly expressed, then assure your son that you believe in him and next time he will certainly act differently.

Your words of praise and approval have enormous significance and influence on the teenager's life and choice of path. They begin to come alive in his mind and protect from wrong steps when he doesn't know what's best. They stimulate him to good deeds that he wouldn't have planned to do otherwise. They point him to the better path that he didn't even know about before. They reveal those deep potentials of Heavenly blessings for the soul and life that could have remained unclaimed and forgotten.

It's important to be sincere and speak praise to the point. It should not concern external appearance and natural beauty of face, body, or clothing. It should not humiliate other people. It should not develop dependence on praise. It should not be selfish and manipulate consciousness. It should not be artificial and dishonest. It should not sound like for small children.

A river that has no riverbed will overflow in all directions, seeking and filling all lowlands and depressions, but if a certain channel is dug for it and it's directed to the right place, then it will obediently flow into this riverbed and flow along it in the given direction. So your praise can set that direction of life in which it will be pleasant for your son to move and develop.

Parents have a fear that excessive praise will cause a feeling of pride in their son and make him arrogant. If you praise incorrectly and elevate the teenager above others, then this will not be a good seed. But in other cases, when praise is appropriate and timely, this needs to be done regularly, just as you eat three times a day, so praise substantially and just because.

Jesus praised the centurion who greatly surprised Him with his faith in the power of Christ's word: "Truly I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel" (Matthew 8:10). The Lord objectively evaluated the Roman commander's faith and was not afraid to publicly praise him for it and then did what the centurion asked.

The centurion accurately described the action of the power of words: "...I say to one, 'Go,' and he goes; and to another, 'Come,' and he comes; and to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it" (Matthew 8:9).

Words of praise know how to produce in the teenager's life what you see in the perspective of his growth.

The expression: "I believe in you, you will certainly succeed!" lays down obligatory victory that will happen. And spiritually these words form the mind of a winner and will help in the future to go from victory to victory, even if they are no longer spoken.

Instead of reproaches for failure: "I told you so!" you can say: "I also had mistakes. Don't give up. You will certainly succeed!" or: "You tried so hard, and that's the most important thing. Don't give up, I believe you'll find a way out!"

Don't be afraid to admire your son: "You're becoming an adult and thinking like an adult man!" Don't hesitate to acknowledge him as better than yourself at this age. Let him understand that he can become smarter and stronger than you if he will learn this and have wisdom from God.

In front of other people you also need to praise the teenager, but in such a way as not to humiliate him and others. For example: "My son can make decisions himself and do what he promised" or: "At his age I was scatterbrained, but he approaches many questions very competently and seeks advice if he doesn't understand something."

Your face and your facial expressions can also praise your teenager and admire him without words. Sincere delight, genuine joy for his successes, encouraging symbols and gestures speak of much without extra words.

Praise for achievements and victories invisible to the eye: "I see how hard it was for you to listen to criticism, but you didn't respond in the same spirit and didn't argue, and in this you were at your best!" or: "You defended the weak and in this great strength was manifested!"

The spirit of praise should create, inspire, encourage, gladden the heart, return the dying to life, open new talents, and create something beautiful and important from nothing.

In my youth there were so few words of praise addressed to me, but that minimum so inspired me that I made many of these words the motto of my life and found support in them in difficult times.

You don't know when and how your words will bring good fruit, but if they are good, then the fruit will certainly be good. Sowing love, faith, and hope in the heart, you will never be left without a good harvest. And your reward will be very great.

1. Please read Luke 8:15; 21:19; James 1:2-4; 2 Pet. 1:3-8; Rev. 14:12; Eph. 4:2-3; Rom. 5:3-5; 8:25; Gal. 5:22-23 in light of this chapter.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this chapter?

4. What is patience?

5. What types of patience do you know?

6. Why is it necessary to develop patience in children?

7. Is it worth having patience yourself before teaching it to someone else?

8. Is there anything in common between the patience spoken of in the Bible and what a child should have?

9. How can you determine a child's level of patience?

10. What methods for developing patience do you know?

11. What games can teach a child patience?

12. Why should patience be joyful and voluntary?

13. What to do if my child is irritable and impatient?

14. What to do if your patience has run out and you are afraid and cannot vouch for yourself?