Love for Your Daughter

In the Bible there is such advice for men that husbands should love their wives (Ephesians 5:25), and women are given other recommendations. I want to protest a little and defend men in the sense that they also need love and it would be good if this were clearly written about. But knowing masculine nature from the inside, I understand that for a man his wife's respect is much more important than everything else.

A teenage girl is a young woman who is designed by God to be loved. When this need is satisfied in her father's house, then she has no great need to seek this love in other people or in the company of peers. She knows that she is loved and this creates for her a certain foundation and powerful spiritual protection from attacks from outside. Though it's important for a teenager to be accepted and belong among their own, what happens at home and is laid in their heart has enormous influence on their mind and protects them among the storms of trials.

You need to love your teenage daughter from birth, not when she turns 13-15 years old. But precisely at this age you need to "double the portion" and be extremely wise parents to give her what's necessary, but at the same time respect her freedom and choice.

Words of love are like goads and firmly embedded nails, and their collectors are from one Shepherd (Ecclesiastes 12:11).

When choosing words of praise or some other actions of showing love, parents need to consider their daughter's love language, through which she will best understand your love.

In adolescence, a girl experiences very many physical and emotional changes that greatly worry and embarrass her. Her behavior and reaction can be unpredictable, as inner fears and insecurity can be expressed in pronounced feelings and incomprehensible behavior. Though her whole being strives for freedom and independence, like an immature child, she needs parental care and protection. She becomes very sensitive to everything that concerns her and what and how people say to her.

It's very important for a daughter to understand that she is loved not for her appearance or some grades and results, but unconditionally and always, for who she is, and because this is right.

Any careless word concerning her appearance can deeply wound or embarrass her, so parents should be extremely delicate in selecting expressions, jokes, and compliments.

She greatly needs emotional support at this time, which parents can give her in the form of personal presence nearby, in confidential conversations, in common prayers for her.

Receiving unconditional love from her earthly father, a girl is able to understand how her Heavenly Father loves her and simultaneously build her relationships with Heavenly Powers. I very much like the constancy of God's love toward me, despite everything. It is precisely such an attitude from the Heavenly Father that helps me always find the best way out of any difficulties. But how I would want my earthly father to possess similar qualities of soul.

Parents don't know what storms and trials their daughter encounters, how words and mockery from peers can knock the ground from under her feet. But words of love, encouragement, and support that she constantly hears from her parents will be a strong anchor for her that won't let her ship break away into the power of raging waves.

In love there is special power that is transmitted from the loving person to the beloved and through them resists many attacks and temptations from outside. Love creates a powerful rear and is able to resist any attack of the enemy.

There are girls whom the Lord endows with special beauty, grace, and aesthetic perfection. They delight their parents with their appearance and "drive their peers crazy." But it's necessary to remember that such external appearance attracts the attention of many men with impure thoughts and plans, and attractive girls are subjected to greater attacks from the enemy of the soul, therefore they need greater instruction from wise parents. It's important to convey to the girl the thought that beauty and chastity are given to her to gladden her future husband's heart and with her charm to give her friends and loved ones much happiness and inspiration.

Meeting attacks of the soul's enemy from outside, the teenage girl learns to reflect these attacks and develops her own defense strategy. But if she receives such education in conducting war and achieving victories in the right spirit from her parents or wise mentors, then it will be easier for her to achieve victories and not enter forbidden territory.

Though freedom implies allowing the daughter to choose her own path and build personal relationships with other people, trusting relationships will open to parents what their daughter lives by and what advice she needs at this time.

Mother and father have different approaches to life and each in their own way influences and supports their daughter. A girl needs a feminine point of view, but it's important for her to hear a masculine view on many things as well. Therefore fathers shouldn't distance themselves from their prickly teenagers, but participate in their lives in a friendly way, giving wise instructions in the form of fascinating stories about their past and about her future.

When a daughter behaves inappropriately or very rudely, don't rush to put her in her place with reciprocal rudeness or suppress her rebellion with parental authority in harsh form. You don't know what's happening in the child's heart at that moment and where the cause of such behavior lies. It's possible that it's some hormonal event that the teenager hasn't yet learned to cope with. It's best to respond calmly: "I see that it's very hard for you right now and I understand your feelings. Let's talk and discuss everything later when you calm down?"

Parents' love very strongly attaches their daughter's heart to them and their support will help her stand firm among many trials that she will never tell you about. A father's love protects his daughter's heart from many mistakes and wrong steps. In such an attitude the daughter receives the necessary portion satisfying her emotional needs and she has no need to seek something similar in the world, as her father's love protects her soul from evil people. And if she does meet the "man of her dreams," then her father's love will help her soberly evaluate the new friend and plan serious relationships, guided by reason, not feelings.

Love for a daughter is not a one-time reaction to some behavior of hers, but a daily spiritual obligation based on understanding this responsibility before God. When a daughter knows and sees her parents' love for her from childhood, then she doesn't need to constantly prove this. At the right time she comes herself to refill her empty vessels, and when she forgets to do this, then loving parents themselves pour the necessary portion of love into her and release her to freedom, believing that she will stand firm.

God has a design, plan, and purpose for any woman at any stage of her growth. And parental love enters into these divine plans and accomplishes what should take place at the right time. Even when a girl chooses the wrong path, falls, or makes mistakes, then unconditional parental love will always be her support and that lighthouse that will shine at all times, pointing to something better.

1. Please read 3 John 1:4; Deuteronomy 6:6-7; Proverbs 1:8-9; 23:24-25; Ephesians 4:29; 6:4; Hosea 11:4; 1 Corinthians 11:7; 1 Peter 3:3-4; 2 Timothy 1:7; Colossians 3:21, in light of this lesson.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your memory?

3. What was revealed to you in this chapter?

4. Why is a father's love so important for a teenage girl?

5. How does a father's love differ from a mother's love in a daughter's life?

6. Why does a father's love help a girl understand the love of the Heavenly Father?

7. Why can a girl's external beauty be a source of dangers and temptations?

8. Why is the personal presence of parents so important for their daughter's emotional state?

9. Why is it important to sometimes just listen to your daughter without offering solutions?

10. Why is it important to tell your daughter about the value of chastity?

11. What words of love are especially needed by a daughter if she has experienced stress or disappointment?

12. Why should parents be mentors rather than controllers?

13. How to speak with your daughter about her future without pressure, but with wisdom?