Confronting Sensuality

Our teenager is not a problem of the current time that suddenly appeared in our house out of nowhere, but a ready product of those blessings, knowledge, and experiences that we have gathered in the heart of this person up to this time. This is our son or our daughter, who have become what we have molded them into.

A teenager is a very wise creation who possesses a thirst for knowledge, strength for life, the ability to adapt to any conditions, sensitivity in understanding parents' moods, as well as curiosity in studying everything new and interesting. This is not at all a foolish being—they have a flexible mind and amazing resourcefulness in many matters.

The power of parents' conviction, their authority and consistency in personal example form a certain type of thinking and culture accepted in this house. They say that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree—and this can be seen in our children.

But the teenage period is the most tempting time for the dark forces of evil, and they, in alliance with ungodly people, create all kinds of programs and temptations to corrupt trusting teenagers so that their life would roll downhill. Satan doesn't disdain anything that can destroy a person's soul and body. His traps are set everywhere to capture fearful and inexperienced young people in strong nets of sin and vice.

God gave parents authority to raise their children, as well as to form spiritual values, tastes, and views in young minds. Christ won the war against the forces of evil. He was not tempted by any sin, did not become a victim of the strongest temptation, but being a teenager, He kept Himself in purity and holiness. And He knows what youth faces, and what is needed to resist all evil and not touch the unclean.

Of course, it's best to defeat sin even before it appears in a teenager's life. Through trusting conversations and instructions in truth, many temptations appear before children in all their terrible reality and shock their hearts with the heavy consequences that sin brings. The enemy of the soul hides these facts; he speaks only about pleasure, enjoyment, and "momentary" joy from the first act of temptation. And young people swallow this bait, deciding to try sin to taste.

When I was studying in third grade, one teacher came to our lesson and showed slides about the harm of smoking and about what terrible diseases and death this habit brings. I was shocked and immediately began to dissuade all the smokers I knew to quit this business. And during my teenage period, I fell into bad company where everyone smoked except me. But I was afraid to try this nastiness because I knew about the heavy consequences and didn't want to get sick and die prematurely. To this day, this conviction about the harm of smoking helps me not even look in that direction, and personal acquaintance with Jesus in my young years and the influence of biblical truths saved me from other evils as well.

The life and relationships of parents with each other and with all household members is the strongest example that children see, and it has a profound influence on them. Live as you teach, and teach as you live. But with the presence of a living example, there should also be wise words spoken on time and on topic.

For example: when your teenage son falls in love, and his girlfriend is not of very strict rules, not all your instructions will be heard, as hormonal experiences cloud common sense. The young man simply hears nothing except his "wants" and confidence that he has found true love, and parents understand nothing.

But serious conversations before all these events, stories about experiences of deceived teenagers, descriptions of the dangers of venereal diseases—all this can prepare a young heart for correct relationships and protect from suspicious people.

The presence of sincere love of parents toward the teenager in relationships and constant speaking with him in his love language will preserve him from seeking this love in other people. A loved person has protection and doesn't thirst for its manifestations from strangers.

Biblical instructions, good and bad examples from the lives of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, David, Solomon, and other characters also lay a solid foundation in consciousness.

Memorized texts about the harm of various temptations will be reminded by God at the right time. When there is understanding of the purity and holiness of the body, knowledge of how to keep oneself from evil—the enemy of the soul will have no place in the teenager's life.

Reading and discussing useful books about building a happy family and good family relationships will also make an invaluable contribution to confronting this world.

It's important that the father often talks with his son, and the mother with her daughter, about hormonal changes in the body, about the feelings this causes, and about possible temptations. Trust in this sphere, as well as your awareness and omniscience, will help the teenager open up and share intimate feelings and thoughts.

When active puberty occurs, it's necessary to seriously talk with the teenager about the harm of masturbation and about the heavy physiological and spiritual consequences of this vice. When the teenager understands that you understand his feelings and know what he's going through, but at the same time don't condemn him but want to help overcome these temptations—then your instructions and prayers will be useful to him. Let him know that you are a friend given to him by God.

The intimate sphere of life will always be attractive to both young men and young women. And the easy accessibility of corrupting information can destroy many good plantings in the teenager's heart. Parents need to get ahead of the world in this education—teach children to turn off the screen in time and look away from indecent images and scenes. Explain how you yourself do this, and show that your family is happy precisely because it chose God's way, rejecting the world's temptations.

Prohibitions are useful at an early age, but in the teenage period they are ineffective. When a person is convinced of the harm of something and understands the benefit of certain restrictions, it's easier for him to cope with the raging fire inside himself and say "no" to sin when circumstances require it.

Stories about your personal falls should not teach teenagers evil. You are for them—even at a young age—an example that is very contagious.

Sports activities, interesting studies, and useful physical labor help redirect tireless energy into the right and useful channel. Achieving success, the teenager feels like a full-fledged person. Sports exercises with even load contribute to the formation of a beautiful, firm, elastic, and healthy body, which will never be superfluous in subsequent years.

If the teenager fell under the onslaught of temptations and confessed it—don't "beat" him with mockery, don't tell others and don't reproach, but lead him to Christ, Who can give strength for victory and teach not to appear where sin reigns.

Jesus resisted all temptations thanks to knowledge of the Scriptures—this was His main weapon of victory. The same thing will give God's Word to our children if they are taught these truths from early years and throughout the entire teenage period.

1. Please read Matt. 7:12; 18:7; Prov. 22:6; Ps. 119:9; James 2:12; 1 John 2:6; 4:17; 2 Tim. 2:22; Heb. 12:6-11; Gal. 6:1; 1 Tim. 4:12; 1 Pet. 5:2-3, in light of this lesson.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What was revealed to you in this chapter?

4. Is it important to understand that a teenager is not a foolish being, but a thirsting soul?

5. Why does Satan particularly actively hunt young souls?

6. Why is it important for parents to act ahead of time rather than wait for falls?

7. Why is the power of parents' conviction more important than simple prohibitions?

8. Why can trusting conversations prevent serious falls into sin?

9. How to tell children about others' falls without awakening curiosity about sin in them?

10. Why is it important to speak with a teenager "in his love language"?

11. Why should the father talk with his son, and the mother with her daughter, and what should such conversations be about?

12. How to teach a child to look away from indecency?

13. Why shouldn't one mock or reproach if a teenager sinned and confessed it to you?

14. Why is teaching God's Word from childhood the most powerful protection in teenage years?