A Conversation with a Daughter About Sensuality

Sensuality is not two word combinations, but one word that in Russian means sweet passion. The very meaning of this word says that such lust is pleasant and desirable for the soul, like something sweet. And if you consider that behind all these temptations stands a whole army of evil spirits who try to lead a person into sin through thoughts and images, then you understand how serious everything is.

Conversations with a daughter about shame, about modesty, about her body, about clothing should begin from the earliest age when consciousness awakens in the child. Girls, as a rule, very quickly figure out what is decent and what is not, and firmly adhere to strict rules. And boys for them are those incomprehensible creatures with whom it's impossible to play with dolls and other games.

But in the teenage period, hormonal processes change many attitudes in the girl's consciousness, and she begins to feel attraction to the opposite sex, while the world's influence imposes all kinds of romantic images that she wants to experience in her life.

It's important for parents to get ahead of the world and create in their daughter's consciousness a correct understanding of what is happening to her, what influence this has, and what she needs to do, before the enemy of the soul gives this information.

A girl is a pearl that grows and matures for a very long time, but is very precious in her mystery, purity, and rarity, which the Lord did not intend for dogs or swine, but grows her so that at the right time He can give her to that person who will love her and care for her happiness. She is not merchandise for wide consumption, but a closed garden that will open its doors only to one chosen beloved (Song of Songs 4:12).

In conversation with a daughter, it's necessary to consider her age and maturity, level of perception, atmosphere of trust, and emotional state. Her body is God's temple, which others should not treat disrespectfully.

Special attention should be paid to the fact that her figure from knees and elbows to neck should always be covered from outside view, as an exposed female body attracts unwanted glances and can be a temptation for many men.

At the age of 11-13 years, when the girl begins active puberty, the mother needs to introduce her daughter to all subsequent changes to free the child from unnecessary fears and worries. Parents should also explain to their daughter what changes in thinking will soon begin to overcome the mind and how to correctly recognize the enemy of the soul and resist him, having firm principles.

If it's better for the daughter to communicate with her mother or other experienced women on delicate topics, then in matters of morality, the father's opinion and advice will have special influence and significance for the growing girl. Who, if not a man, can better explain the male view and approach to women.

It's important for the girl to understand that new interest and attraction to boys is not sin, but a normal process of puberty, if it's not connected with immoral fantasies, touches, flirting, and desire to try the forbidden fruit.

All conversations on these topics should be conducted in a calm atmosphere, as equals, considering the daughter's interest and her desire to hear something new from you.

At the age of 14-16 years, the girl needs to be reminded of instructions that she should keep her purity until marriage and this is God's will. We must be honest and open and explain that the world offers its values that ruin life, bring diseases and mental anguish, and that sexual desires should not dictate behavior patterns, but everything should be under the control of reason.

It's important to note that watching "soap operas" or reading "romantic stories" present sin in a desirable form and sweep away barriers in the mind, offering to taste what brings suffering and death.

It's also worth explaining that pressure from peers, their mockery of her purity, stories about romantic relationships of her friends and other attacks are Satan's attempts to knock her off the true path. Let her know that as dirty as all her experienced friends, she can become at any moment whenever she wants, but as pure as she is, they will never be able to become. And in this purity there is special strength and attractiveness.

Fornication and adultery are special sins that God placed in that category that He will personally judge those who commit them. We read in Hebrews 13:4: "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge." The sin of fornication can take place not only in real action, but also in developing thoughts on this topic or in the company of a young man who tenderly touches the body or enchants consciousness with his kisses. Parents cannot forbid their daughter's communication with the opposite sex, but they can explain what boundaries need to be established and never allow them to be violated.

Sensuality is not some empty fascination, but an enchanted territory of the enemy of the soul, entering which, a person falls under satanic charms and sometimes cannot control his feelings and desires until he receives the coveted pleasure. Therefore, the girl should know that being alone with a pleasant young man can end very sadly, even against her will. Let all types of friendship be in sight of other people and under the protection of reason.

The goal of a girl as a woman is to become the wife of one husband, to be a mother, keeper of the home hearth, God's servant, and all pleasures and enjoyments will have a lawful place when they come into life in a lawful way. It's important to convey to the girl the truth that she is not merchandise, but a temple of the living God. That she is not a body, but a person.

At the age of 17-19 years, the girl already gains full independence, knows how to independently make important decisions, and feels like an adult person. Her body has formed and become suitable for full childbearing, and the age of majority allows her to legally enter marriage.

It should be noted that thoughts about sensuality come at any age, so parents should not relax and let their influence drift. In a trusting relationship, you can tell your experiences, stories of your mistakes and experiences. Pray together with your daughter for her future husband, teach her what her chosen one should be like and how to properly build relationships.

If the irreparable happens and your daughter tells you about her fall at any stage of growth, then put it on your heart not to beat her for it and not to push her away from you. Point her to the One who gave His life for her sins and is ready to accept and cleanse the young soul from all evil. However hard it may be for you to hear such confessions, be wise and ready not to finish off, but to help.

If something worse happens and your daughter consciously chooses the path of perdition, then you have the authority to pray for this soul until victory, and the Lord knows how to answer your prayers and at what time to bring her to repentance. He will not give the sinner happiness in sin, and your prayers will always be an obstacle on the path to final destruction.

The earlier you begin your conversations with your daughter about sensuality, the easier it will be for you to exert your influence in the future and win in every battle.

1. Please read Matt. 7:6; 1 Cor. 6:18-20; 11:11-12; 2 Cor. 7:1; 11:2; 1 Thess. 4:3; Prov. 12:4; 20:15; 31:10; 1 Kings 15:12, in light of this lesson.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What was revealed to you in this chapter?

4. Why is it important to start conversations with a daughter about modesty and shame from an early age?

5. What is the difference between the role of mother and father in the sexual education of a daughter?

6. How to explain to a daughter that natural attraction to the opposite sex is not sin, but those feelings that should be under control?

7. What arguments can be used when explaining to a daughter the importance of preserving purity until marriage?

8. Can a girl be a temptation to other men through her appearance and manner of behavior, even if she doesn't think about it?

9. How to explain to a teenager the spiritual consequences of not observing moral purity?

10. Why is it important in communication to pay special attention to images and thoughts, and not only physical actions?

11. In what way is it proposed to form in a girl a concept of her value not as an external object or merchandise, but as a person?

12. What approach is recommended for parents if the daughter reports her "fall" or extramarital pregnancy?

13. What to do if the daughter decided to go her own destructive way and doesn't want to have any communication?

14. Why is a different approach to the daughter necessary at different ages?