The Teenager's Appearance

How a teenager looks says much more about him and his inner world than it seems at first glance. Appearance combines many factors of spirituality, self-identification, taste, influence of the world and fashion, external pressure, family upbringing, purity, and holiness.

Appearance can include:

• clothing and its style in combination of color, cut and fabric, brands and inscriptions;

• shoes and their style;

• accessories, which include all kinds of jewelry, bags and backpacks, glasses and headwear;

• use of cosmetics, deodorants, and perfume;

• hairstyle, neatness, length and color of hair;

• cleanliness and neatness of body, skin, and nails or their untidiness with the presence of foreign odors and dirt;

• presence or absence of stubble in boys;

• posture, pose, gesticulation, and manner of holding oneself and behaving;

• facial expression, which unmistakably conveys mood through smile, facial expressions, and observant eyes.

Clothing is the soul's business card, which creates a first impression of a person, sometimes clearly revealing his dignity or inner problems. This is a visual language through which the teenager wants to tell the world something about himself and his significance, that he is no longer a child and that he represents something.

The Bible pays special attention to the clothing of God's people, to reveal to this world through it the holiness, uniqueness, and purity of God's representatives. Through instructions and restrictions in appearance, God tries to convey to consciousness the message that His children should not conform to this world, but be a special and holy people.

Appearance should contain cleanliness, neatness, modesty, correspondence to gender, season, and place of stay.

There are general rules for boys and girls, but there are distinctive features that need to be clearly separated.

A young man is a prototype of an adult man, future father and head of family. And this dignity should be present in his appearance. Appearance begins with short and wise instructions from father and mother from the earliest age, when the child is taught hygiene, cleanliness, and instilled with taste for certain things accepted in the culture of this people. The personal example of parents' appearance lays a solid foundation for the subsequent correspondence of their children's appearance.

Explaining certain norms or requirements lays understanding and meaning in the child's consciousness. And when the transitional period from childhood to youth comes, the teenager tries to find himself and his place in society. Here it's important not to forbid, but to help him choose between "like everyone else" and what's right.

When a teenager feels unconditional love from parents, he won't strive to express his need for attention through appearance and will approach more soberly how he looks.

The teenager needs to be given freedom in choosing clothing and shoes that he likes and that he will willingly wear, and through this choice understand what this young person lives by, under whose influence he is, and what values he has in priority.

The influence of modern fashion, the appearance of popular artists, singers, or bloggers creates a certain image in the viewer's consciousness, which one wants to imitate. If this is the main criterion in choosing clothes, then this should be for parents that signal that they missed something and lagged behind somewhere and let the world get ahead of them in this matter. Although you shouldn't forbid the teenager to wear what he wants, you can express your personal opinion and God's will regarding provocative clothing or those things that are difficult to call decent and neat.

The body is not a showcase, but a temple of the Holy Spirit, and the teenager should know and understand this.

Appearance attracts a person to oneself, and inner beauty keeps this person near oneself. The purpose of clothing is not to tempt, not to shock and surprise, but to reflect God's light, human dignity, purity, and holiness.

It's also important to understand that certain clothing styles, incomprehensible drawings or signs on it, or strange inscriptions can reflect occult things and attract demonic forces into life, which will be temptation both for the clothing owner and for his environment.

Sexuality is what the world tries to impose on young people through clothing and all kinds of fashionable trends. Young people are made to believe that attractiveness is being seductive and frank in demonstrating what should be hidden under clothing. But clothing should not attract foreign glances to the body, it should attract attention to the face and eyes.

Parents can influence their children's wardrobe through sincere admiration of their spiritual beauty, through recognition of them as especially beautiful and unique in God's eyes, through their genuine love, and through personal example in demonstrating decent and neat clothing.

If mom walks around the house all day in a torn robe or goes out in public in very revealing clothing, then her demands on children regarding decency in clothing will look not entirely convincing.

The enemy of the soul sophisticates and mocks humanity, offering ridiculous or vulgar clothing, calling it fashionable. Torn clothing was always considered a sign of poverty or ignorance, and now it has become "decent" even to come to spiritual gatherings in it, because it's so fashionable. And the essence remains the same—careless attitude toward others and God.

Fashion is not absolute evil, it can advertise decent and practical clothing and shoes. Here common sense and absence of sporting interest in trying to keep up with its requirements are needed.

God in His love gave His people the light of Dress Reform, where He very clearly expressed criteria of decency and ignorance. Who now studies these questions and who lives according to this given light? God doesn't want to bring His message to fanaticism and push away its significance through radically minded people. But He also doesn't welcome indifference in this matter, as it entails the influence of the world, which forms completely different values. When the criterion of decency becomes not God's word, but "like everyone else," then should the Lord adjust and bless what He doesn't approve?

Holiness in clothing is visible to the spiritual eye. When a spiritual man chooses a life companion, not many girls pass through his spiritual sieve, and the very first criterion is appearance, which attracts not the heart, but the eyes and carries a message about the inner rebellion of a person who has nothing in common with holiness.

The teenager learns what he is taught, is transformed into the one he looks upon, becomes who he wants to be, and he needs wise mentors before finally deciding.

Appropriate questions like: "Why do you like this particular thing?" or: "Would you want to appear before God in this form?" can direct thoughts in the right direction and help decide and make the right choice.

It's important to teach teenagers: we wear clothing not only for ourselves, but also for others—so as not to tempt, not to cause envy, not to provoke, but to shine light. We want to be beautiful for people, but we shouldn't forget about God, Who also wants to admire us.

1. Please read Matt. 5:14-16; 23:27; 2 Cor. 5:12; 1 Cor. 6:19-20; 1 Pet. 3:3-4; Ex. 19:10; Gen. 41:42; Deut. 22:5; Prov. 11:22; 15:13; 31:25; Eccl. 8:1; 9:8; Col. 3:12; Gal. 3:27, in light of this lesson.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you like from this lesson?

4. What does your appearance preach?

5. Under whose influence are you when you buy clothing for yourself?

6. For whom do you take care of your appearance?

7. Do you think modesty has gone out of fashion?

8. What would you think of yourself if you saw yourself from the side?

9. How to be beautiful for God?

10. Have you ever checked inscriptions on clothing before buying it?

11. Can one be holy and stylish at the same time?

12. Why are we advised in Rev. 3:18 to buy white clothing?

13. Where does nakedness begin?

14. Would you like to hear about yourself that you are naked, at a time when you seem to be clothed?