A Father's Influence on His Daughter's Appearance

In every woman is placed the need to be loved and protected. And this property of the soul doesn't go anywhere at any age. Your teenage daughter is no exception to this rule, and her need for love is present in her heart and seeks the source of this love in other people. Blessed is that girl who has discovered the spring of love in Jesus and quenches this thirst at all times, but at the same time it must be remembered that her soul also thirsts for human recognition in the form of visible human love.

A father who sincerely loves his daughter and constantly tells her about it has enormous influence on the formation of the girl's personality and is very powerful protection for her in spiritual life. The word of a loving father always has weight in the daughter's life and provides support in difficult times. The father plays an important role in forming femininity in his daughter and is a protector of this quality of soul in subsequent years.

He can boldly tell his teenage daughter about her external beauty, combining this with inner qualities, admiring her transformation into a full-fledged woman. Dad in this case is the safest observer and critic, who is most interested in the happy future of his girl, and for him she will always be a baby in whom he will always find something beautiful.

The father's love and admiration protect the young girl from many temptations and influences from outside. Receiving what's necessary in her family, she won't thirst to receive this from outside. And the father's wise approach in raising a worthy person from his daughter will bear its fruit in the teenage period and help to have special relationships with the growing girl.

When a girl feels her father's love, his acceptance and adoration, then her heart is saturated with confidence, peace, and reciprocity. She is loved, and this becomes her reliable protection from external influences of the world and peer environment, which in the absence of such love invent all kinds of ways of personal protection. In this sense, fatherly love not only forms character in the daughter, but also has strong influence on the expression of her inner feelings through appearance, what it will be: provocative or modest, refined or chaotic, worthy or reflecting inner emptiness.

It's important that the father, besides love, also understands what's happening in the heart and body of his growing daughter, and has an idea about holiness in clothing. If it's customary in his house to walk around in underwear and a t-shirt, then he's unlikely to react to such an appearance of his daughter when she puts on very revealing clothing to go out in public.

A girl's appearance is the language of her heart, it's her message to the world about herself: how she sees herself, what she wants, what she feeds her mind with, how she relates to herself and others, whom she worships, what she expects. Often the appearance and manner of behavior of a girl determine how those whose attention she wants to attract will relate to her.

Youth and beauty are what the world highly values and respects. And if youth is something natural in a teenager's appearance, then the concept of beauty can be relative and perceived by the girl quite painfully and categorically. And if fatherly love and personal relationships with God are absent in this struggle for appearance, then the world will put its values into consciousness, which will begin to dictate to the girl how she should look and how she should behave among her peers.

Let's take some domestic animal, for example a cat, and using its example try to understand how many decorations it needs to hang to become beautiful and attractive? What cosmetics does it need to use so that its appearance doesn't repel the gaze? What tattoo can be made for it so that it becomes a cool cat in the whole neighborhood? Or what brand would suit it best so that all the local cats would start noticing it? The correct answer: none and no kind. And why? Because it's created so perfectly and uniquely that there's nothing to add to this. And there's no sense for it in a fifth leg or second tail. It simply lives and thinks about completely different values.

Of course, a girl is not a cat, and she needs special care for her appearance, even to look natural and modest. But neither she nor her parents should forget that besides external beauty, by which everyone is customarily met in our world, there's also inner beauty, by which one wants to stay nearby and enjoy the presence of this person in your life.

Dear father, if you want to see your daughter happy and beautiful in all respects, then start with love, with studying her spiritual needs and necessities, so that she receives everything necessary for her soul from you and doesn't go seeking counterfeits of this from outside. Talk with her about her, about her appearance, about her beauty, hug her, admire her natural appearance, her hair, her voice, her modesty. Emphasize in her the natural beauty of God's design, embodied in her body and soul, and let her understand that God didn't make a mistake creating exactly her as she is. And with all this love—love her mother too. When the daughter knows her true worth through your attention, love, and respect for her, then she won't need to prove something to someone and seek this evaluation in other eyes.

Remember that her appearance is a continuation of your influence or an attempt to fill what she doesn't receive from you.

If you relate to her growing up with understanding and respect her freedom, then she will pass through the difficult times of her formation with honor and won't be ashamed of her heart and her reflection in the mirror.

She needs you not as a gendarme watching the contents of her closet, but as a friend who with his love forms her inner beauty, from which light and blessing will emanate for everyone else.

You're raising this person not for yourself, but so that someday you can solemnly hand over this treasure into the reliable hands of her future husband, so that he can enjoy those labors and investments of your influence, under which this miracle was formed. God entrusted you with the most precious thing—a living soul, which you and your wife formed in your image and likeness.

Your unconditional love doesn't deprive your daughter of personal choice of her life path and manner of behavior, but it helps her see meaning and purpose and will always support her during falls and help her understand her true value among the temptations of this world.

Remember also that you're not all-powerful and can't do much or change much in the life of even the closest person. But in Heaven there is One who hears all your prayers for your daughter and can influence her choice so strongly and bless her in correct decisions as is not within your power. Let your prayers for your daughter always be fresh in communication with the Heavenly Father, and you will definitely see their embodiment in your daughter's life. And if you miss something, then the Lord will correct that too.

And maybe someday she will tell her future husband: "You remind me of my dad—he loved me the same way and helped me become who I am now." And then you'll understand—your love truly transformed her and left a trace of eternity in her heart.

1. Please read 1 Sam. 16:7; Prov. 11:22; 17:6; 20:7; 31:30; Mal. 4:6; Eph. 6:4; Song of Songs 1:15; 4:7; Ezek. 16:13-14; Matt. 10:30-31; 1 John 3:1; Rom. 5:5; Isa. 43:4, in light of this lesson.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you like in this lesson?

4. Do you think girls like how their fathers admire them?

5. Reading this lesson, whom do you see yourself as in it?

6. Would it be appropriate for a father to hug his daughter every day and constantly tell her some compliments?

7. Can a father become a mirror for his daughter?

8. How can you inspire your daughter to modesty and holiness in appearance?

9. How to correctly use Biblical quotes to help a girl see herself through God's eyes?

10. Should you listen to what your daughter says about her appearance in prayer?

11. How to determine if a girl is confident that her father and her God love her as she is?

12. Do you remind your daughter that she is God's daughter, chosen and loved?

13. How to tell a girl about the purpose of beauty—not to attract glances, but to glorify God?

14. Did you notice that this lesson physically doesn't contain all the important things about a father's influence on his daughter's appearance?

15. What would you like to add to what you've read?