The Dark Night of the Soul

Something dark happens in the life of every person—something he has never experienced before—and by nature we try in every possible way to avoid this event or drown it out with something good. But those who believe in Christ move steadily toward this moment and will not be able to avoid it. Sooner or later, everyone who comes to know God and grows in Him approaches such a condition. It is something like a dark forest through which I must pass. And the more light is poured into my life, the more likely it is that similar trials of my faith will soon begin and “knock me out of the rut” of my familiar experiences.

Perhaps this could be given another name, but I conditionally define this state as the dark night of the soul. I myself passed through this time without understanding what was happening to me. I felt very sorrowful and lonely, and I could only hold on to Christ by faith, rely on His assurances of love and faithfulness, and continue moving forward. I know many brothers and sisters who have also experienced something similar. And no one has avoided it.

But there is also one distinctive feature in this trial. When such an event enters my life, I can pass through it, or I can turn back and remain where everything is familiar and known, where it is light and everything is clear. The soul does not want to enter the fire; with every fiber of its being, it resists every trial.

At the very least, however, we need to know that such a trial takes place. If I know this and ask God to be with me and lead me through it, then when it comes, it will be easier for me to endure everything. Oh, how I wish someone had told me about this earlier. Forewarned is forearmed. In our school, we learn about many good things before they draw near. And they will come. Although everyone’s trials and experiences are different, and our perceptions differ, there is only one path that all of us must travel, and it is very narrow. We have One Teacher, the curriculum is the same for everyone, and one textbook has been given to all of us for all ages.

When a tree is small, it is very easy to shape it and direct its growth. Unnecessary branches can be pruned, young branches can be bent in the right direction, and excess shoots and fruit can be removed so that they do not drain the tree’s vital strength. But when the tree has grown, it is already formed, and what is unnecessary must simply be chopped or sawed off.

God leads His children as a people, but at the same time He conducts individual lessons with each person. He gives and brings to light the distinctive traits and gifts that belong to that person. And with the student’s consent, the Lord develops these talents for service to others and for His glory.

Not everything is accessible to me, and I cannot become everything. But if I desire to master a particular field of study and devote time and mental effort to it, I will certainly learn something and discover something new for myself.

The dark night of the soul is that unusual condition into which I enter in the process of my spiritual growth. Sometimes it comes without any apparent reason, or the Lord may create a crisis in my life through illness, injury, some kind of attack, or something else. But I begin to understand that darkness has enveloped my life. Spiritually, I feel very unwell. I do not want to do anything, and every earthly undertaking loses its meaning. Yet I continue doing these things because I am accustomed to living this way, or because they simply must be done and there is no one to replace me. Fears, doubts, and disappointments arise. I begin to reevaluate my entire life and everything I possess, weighing it all and casting many things aside. It is difficult to describe exactly what is happening, but it is something like apathy and deep sorrow. My friends, who do not understand what is happening to me, begin trying to comfort me in their own way, but it does not help.

A person can leave such a condition by occupying himself with something useful and familiar. There are many such activities. And I can turn back, as many people do. Or I can continue forward, trusting the Lord and relying on His wisdom and His promises that He will always be with me.

It is like a revolution in the soul: I can no longer live in the old way, but I do not understand how to live in a new way. My previous experiences and knowledge have reached maturity and no longer bring the same joy they did at the beginning. They have become familiar, and I want to grow; I want to explore the spiritual world. A desire arises to enter deeply into the world of the Bible and immerse myself completely in new revelations.

And the Lord leads me to this time. The fire of trials is something I cannot avoid in my earthly life with God. It is the fire that brings spiritual pain and distress but does not kill. In earlier times, God allowed certain things to happen and did not hasten events. But now, what is taking place around me tells me that I should hurry; otherwise, I may be too late and miss something very important.

Why is the dark night of the soul necessary? I am made in such a way that when everything around me is rosy and sunny, I consider it the height of bliss and make myself comfortable in those circumstances. I do not plan difficult trials. If water were told that it must flow uphill, it would not make such a decision; it would search for low places to fill. In order for it to rise uphill, it needs outside help and special equipment, because water has no power within itself to accomplish this. In the same way, my growth is not an inherent quality of mine, but a process directed by God, Who places the laws of this development within me and sustains them when I begin to submit to them.

As I experience the night of the soul, I allow my heart to pass through a process of cleansing and rethinking many things. Sorrow, anxiety, fears, and other things torment my soul, and I begin to understand that I desperately need the God in Whom I already believe. But now I need Him as the One to Whom I can cling and hold fast. Turning back will offer me no future prospects; I will simply continue doing what I already know and know how to do, while the future lies in darkness. I do not understand what awaits me ahead, but that is precisely where the Lord draws me, and He does not leave me. I sense Him; I believe that He is near. He is faithful to His promises, and they strengthen me, and I know that I will not remain alone. My relationship with Jesus becomes very personal and very close, for He alone understands me and truly supports me. And the Savior gives me confidence that there will be light ahead—bright light. There is something great and inaccessible there that I do not yet know.

I cry out day and night and believe that He hears me. My soul passes through the land of darkness.

The enemy of the soul tries to offer me his own solution to these experiences. He has doctors, pills, alcohol, entertainment, travel, a world of laughter and foolishness, and every kind of show. Or he simply says to me through those close to me, “Curse God, and die.” But this world does not interest me. God has laid a foundation in my heart, and I will build my house with God; I cannot do otherwise.

I remember the heroes of the Bible. All of them experienced something similar, and their experience of victory strengthens me.

Time passes, and I am still alive. Ahead, I see light—beautiful, new, and amazing light. I enter the next grade and understand that something new is being revealed to me, something I did not know before. I begin searching for depth. I seek it in truth and in relationships, and I find it. I have begun to view the world more seriously and have sifted much that was unnecessary from my soul. The purity of these revelations draws me. And it is so interesting! Suddenly, I realize in my heart how greatly I lack love, and I ask for it. I see the light, move toward it, and discover a new world.

1. Please read 2 Corinthians 1:8–10; 2:4; Philippians 3:12–14; Deuteronomy 4:30–31; Psalms 22:11; 25:16–18; 34:19; 39:2–3; 50:15; Ecclesiastes 1:18; Matthew 24:21–22; John 16:33; Romans 5:3–5; 1 Peter 1:6–9; Revelation 7:14.

2. Was anything new revealed to you?

3. Is the expression “the dark night of the soul” clear to you? Or do you have another definition for this condition?

4. Have you experienced something similar? If so, how did you emerge from it, and where did it lead you?

5. Can such trials be avoided?

6. Why is God not opposed to our experiencing tribulation in the world and in our spiritual growth?

7. What should I do if I have not yet experienced anything like what is described in this chapter? Should I prepare for it?

8. Can I create a time of sorrow for myself through my own sins?

9. Are mature Christians ever happy? Or is sorrow the lot of every believer?