A Personal Crisis of Faith

As we study the psalms of David, it is not difficult to notice how he describes his experiences and the crises through which he passed during his spiritual growth. These revelations did not enter the Bible by accident, for they carry a message about what may take place in the heart of a believer when he is going through an experience or growing in his faith.

A crisis is when the old no longer satisfies you and sometimes even disappoints you, while the new is still unclear and remains a mystery. It is that moment in life when, in your understanding, everything becomes bad, when a certain turning point occurs in your mind and you have to resolve things in a new way. It is important to understand that although a crisis is a problem for the person passing through this stage of life, in its essence it opens new opportunities for further spiritual growth.

A crisis of faith is when doubts enter your life, along with disappointment in people and in God’s silence; when the heart is surfeited with information that no longer satisfies, while the soul languishes in emptiness; when reading, fellowship, and prayer bring no joy; when you feel abandoned and do not know where to go.

A crisis of faith, also known as “the dark night of the soul,” takes place in the life of every believer. This time is an important point at which values are reevaluated. One person may turn away from God and become a cynic and critic; another may return to his former condition of faith and continue living in the customary way. But someone else moves toward the unknown and removes from his life what has suddenly changed from something important into something secondary.

In His wisdom, the Lord has provided this time for each of us because a crisis reveals what my spiritual house is built upon and what materials it is made of.

The parable of the wise and foolish builders who built their houses upon rock and sand teaches that a crisis will certainly come. Whether I want it or not, my faith will certainly be tested.

The foundation of my faith may be built upon the authority of wise people, a particular tradition, the familiar pattern of church life, my feelings and emotions, or success and prosperity in spiritual life. In other words, favorable circumstances are created that help me grow spiritually very quickly.

But we live in a world where sin reigns, where the winds of every kind of false teaching rage, and where betrayal and deception are encountered at every step. All these things are directed toward depriving me of faith and destroying my soul. God does not create enticements and temptations for me, but He permits them in my life in order to teach me to resist this evil.

The crisis of my faith is not something unexpected to God, but a natural stage of growth which I will inevitably enter. The Lord knows that each of us will someday enter this condition of the soul, and He remains near so that He may pass through this dark forest together with us. If I understand that such crises are part of God’s plan for my spiritual growth, it is easier for me to endure this time and see the ultimate goal of my journey, which God has defined as love from a pure heart.

The path of love always passes through many interesting crises. Before filling my vessel with His precious oil, the Lord desires to cleanse it of every impurity, and a crisis becomes the instrument through which this cleansing takes place very effectively and quickly.

My spiritual growth in faith opens my eyes to many sins of other people and to the hypocrisy of some ministers. The enemy of the soul will certainly try to use this to make me disappointed in my faith, whispering to me, “Look where you have ended up. There are nothing but sinners and hypocrites here.” Then he instills in me indignation at such behavior and disappointment in people.

But my problem is also that I myself am no better than these people and am just as much a sinner. And the Message to Laodicea delivers the final blow by revealing that I am lukewarm and do not even know it.

For God, this is the long-awaited moment when He can move me to the next stage of my faith and help me understand myself, and then lead me to begin searching for true values and appreciating what I had never noticed before and did not even suspect existed.

I remember how my first love for God inspired me to devote the best of my time completely to searching for important truths. I remember the fire within me kindled by new revelations from God that inspired me to continue onward. During the first stage of spiritual growth, all these things were very important and occupied their proper place in my life.

But the Lord desires to give me greater light about His love and longs for this love to live within me. For this purpose, He immerses me in darkness and leaves a small window of Light that the darkness cannot overcome.

I continue searching for God in this darkness, but I do not find Him. I continue praying, but I feel emptiness. I continue reading the Bible, but I receive no new revelations. In this pitch darkness, I rely by faith on God’s promises that are familiar to me and move toward the light, believing that the Lord is near.

But there is also a risk that in this darkness I will choose to enter the darkness of this world. Then it will be very difficult or impossible to find the way back.

During this crisis, many prefer to turn back and become teachers, theologians, preachers, and ministers for those who are still growing and have not yet reached the transitional stage of the crisis of faith.

But the Lord has designed a believer’s transition into a closer relationship with Himself through such a spiritual crisis. Until I have experienced this darkness in my life, my heart will remain filled with many things that hinder my spiritual growth. Living water must flow through my heart and bring it joy while cleansing it of every impurity. The fire of such trials burns away everything that can be burned, while leaving me alive and purified.

David described in detail in the psalms what was happening to him so that we could better understand what is happening to us. He was not ashamed to write about his disappointment, the emptiness around him, the betrayal of friends, and his indignation during this time. I believe that Jesus also experienced something similar, and in many psalms we can hear the very voice of Christ as He prays to His Heavenly Father about His experiences.

A crisis of faith is another new step toward spiritual growth. And all of us pass through this dark forest. But if I do not know the goal to which the Lord desires to lead me, I risk becoming lost in the dark forest and failing to grow any further.

Happiness, friendship, and agape love in close fellowship with Christ—these are the next steps of my spiritual growth. I do not pass through them together with my beloved brothers and sisters, but in complete solitude, holding the hand of Jesus by faith.

The attainment of love, happiness, friendship, and perfection in love takes place not amid noisy church fellowship, but in the depths of my heart, during hours of struggle and decisive choice, when everything around me is collapsing and I choose love, happiness, and friendliness.

The path to love is a path on which very few people understand and support you. It is when you are surrounded by those you love, but they cannot respond to you in the same way because they have not yet grown to that point and do not understand what you are experiencing.

But this is the path of an overcomer, and it is worth finding and walking upon it.

1. Please read Deuteronomy 8:2; Psalms 22:1; 42:5; 73:26; 88:18; Job 13:13; Habakkuk 3:17–18; Isaiah 40:31; 50:10; 1 Peter 1:6–7; Romans 5:3–5; 2 Corinthians 5:7.

2. What other Bible verses came to your mind?

3. What did you understand?

4. Why do some people turn away from God after their faith has been tested?

5. Are we able to follow Christ alone?

6. What do trials reveal about our hearts?

7. What keeps us close to God during a crisis?

8. Why are many people afraid of spiritual depth?

9. Why does the path of love pass through spiritual loneliness?

10. Why does God destroy our former ideas about faith?

11. Why do many people turn back and refuse to grow because they are frightened by the unknown?

12. Are we trying to run away from what the Lord desires to lead us through?

13. Can true love be born without suffering and trials?

14. Why do many people fail to understand those who are moving ahead of them in spiritual growth?

15. Was Jesus understood by His contemporaries?