The Stage of Love

Every fruit tree has a value determined by the presence of fruit. Each plant has a particular period of growth, its own characteristics, and its own seasons. By the taste and quality of the fruit, one can understand how useful the tree is and whether it is worth continuing to care for it.

The Lord often uses this image in His parables to reveal His expectations to His children. It is good to be a tree planted by the rivers of water, but the requirements for such a plant are also very high. Anything may grow in a forest, but only that which bears good fruit is found in God’s garden.

Much as we might wish to give everyone the hope that the main thing is to enter God’s garden and that somehow we will adapt once we are there, the Bible teaches otherwise: only good, fruit-bearing plants remain in the Lord’s garden, although the Lord cares very diligently for everyone planted there.

And what fruit does the Lord expect from His plantings? The very fruit that greatly benefits the soul and glorifies God. We read in Galatians 5:22–23: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”

But if a tree is called a pear tree, I do not expect apples from it. In my life, I am able to diversify my fruit if I study the science of salvation and try to practice what is relevant for the present time.

Service to God is the most beautiful state of the soul. It brings joy and satisfaction to the heart, although it sometimes takes place under very difficult conditions. At a certain point I begin to understand very clearly that I need love, that this quality is missing from my life for fullness and harmony, and that although my motives are good, they sometimes remain tasteless. I labor with all my heart, do God’s work responsibly and joyfully, yet my heart does not love those for whom I labor. At times I recognize the terrible truth that I need no one and that, by and large, no one is interested in me either. My speech reveals this very quickly, and I look like a hypocrite. Although I understand that everything in my life is right—that I have a close relationship with Christ, a ministry, and results—I do not have love. I cannot say that I have none at all: it makes itself known here and there, and I see how it sometimes works and brings joy to my heart. But I also understand that it must always be present.

The good news for me is that God leads me from glory to glory, not so that at some moment of despair or disappointment in myself He may cast me away, but so that He may endow me with everything He has planned and make me what He desires me to be. As I passed from stage to stage, I simply found myself face to face with an ocean that I must enter. Behind me are the wilderness, darkness, struggles, and the pursuit intended to return me to slavery; ahead is a boundless sea that will drown me. But Jesus draws me into these waters, and I understand what they mean. I long to have them within me and to dwell in them. Love is not merely another stage of my growth; it is the open heart of God, which desires to become my heart and teach me to relate to people as the Lord does. The special feature of receiving the gift of agape is that God desires to give it to me but cannot do so without me. He often showed me that love exists. He took me in His arms and lowered me into these waters, then set me back down, desiring me to thirst for it with all my soul. When I understand with my mind that I need it and strive with my heart to obtain love, a more excellent way opens before me, and I enter a new stage of faith.

6. Agape love.

I knew that it existed and that it was available, but theory is one thing and personal experience another. How I longed to taste this blessing and discover its flavor! I tried to find it in other people’s stories and desired to receive it from their experiences, but I could only guess what it was.

When I was a child, I saw people start families, live together, and then have children. So I decided to have a family too. In every girl I saw my wife, but I was too shy to offer my hand and heart. At thirteen, I firmly decided to marry and even chose a classmate who seemed very well suited to the role, but I never proposed to her. The laws of the country kept me from taking this step, but I learned that somewhere in India it was possible to marry at that age, and I deeply regretted that I was not in India. I was not concerned about where we would live, how we would support a family, or where children came from. I simply wanted family relationships because that was how adults lived. I had a visible example, but no knowledge or understanding of what it meant. Time passed, and at twenty-two my dream came true. By then, however, I had understanding, responsibility, and permission for such an undertaking. I did not know what family life looked like from the inside, but I moved toward it confidently. Once I entered that stage, I began to understand everything more fully. During our life together, I came to realize three important things: 1. What a family should not be. 2. What it can become if love is brought into it. 3. Family happiness is built by both spouses. Otherwise, it either does not exist or is one-sided. Of course, there are other discoveries, but a relationship requires the participation of both parties.

Look at how God relates to us, to the world, and to me: with absolute love. And what does He receive in return?

But if I desire to respond in the same way, something very beautiful will grow between us. When I was a babe in Christ, I saw my relationship with God in a childish way, although I dreamed of great things and considered myself an adult. But children are not permitted to live an adult life; they must learn, and this takes time. Yet if that time has come and I still drink from a bottle and greatly enjoy wearing diapers, people already look at me with pity. God has established times for growth, and He does not shorten them, although there may be exceptions for prodigies. But when the moment arrives, He draws me onward.

The stage of love is not a matter of whether I want it or not; it is the place in my faith that I must reach. This stage was created not for “favorites” or the especially gifted, but for everyone—including you, reader! This science is not a theory for those who are bored and have nothing to do; it is the narrow way that will lead you to the goal.

If you choose another path, you will miss the goal. In its literal meaning, sin means missing the mark. Is that what you want? What do you expect from your Christianity, dear friend? To drift quietly with the current? If you want to take flight, remember that an airplane takes off against the wind.

If God has prepared love for you, desires to endow you with it, and accepts nothing else, perhaps it is better to go out to meet Him and choose what is mine both by right and in fact. Is that logical? Yet with all God’s strictness and longsuffering, He allows me to make this choice myself, without outside pressure, after weighing everything and deciding. And what do I choose?

Eternal life is worth giving everything to obtain it.

In this life, one may choose not to start a family so that nothing deficient results. But in a relationship with Christ, we must build what He offers, and nothing defective is acceptable in it. What is hindering you, friend? Love exists; it is available and worth attaining. It is waiting for you. “And the Spirit and the bride say, Come.”

1. Please read Psalm 1:3; Isaiah 58:11; Jeremiah 17:8; Matthew 3:12; 25:29–46; Mark 11:13; John 15:5–9, 13, 16–17, 21, 27; Galatians 5:22–23; James 3:12–18; John 12:24–26; Isaiah 66:19–20; 2 Corinthians 3:3–4, 6; Mark 9:49.

2. What new things did you learn?

3. How does God speak to His children? Can He do so through our lessons?

4. Why does the apostle Paul call the stage of love “a more excellent way”? See 1 Corinthians 12:31.

5. Is life good for those who love and make this love the joy and meaning of life?

6. Although love is available, why is it neither popular nor sought after, even among the children of God?

7. Is there really no love at the preceding stages of faith? Explain how you understand its presence in a person’s life.

8. Why do those who reach the higher stages of faith become less understandable to those who do not seek further growth?

9. Can a person at the second or third stage serve as an adviser or mentor to those who have surpassed him in faith and reached the later stages, but are younger in physical age?