You Are Wretched

The Majesty of Heaven calls me wretched, and this is the true assessment of a loving heart. With what pity does the Lord pronounce these words! How much sympathy for me is invested in such a definition!

He who now dwells in unapproachable light, whom holy beings serve, who is surrounded by absolute purity, looks at me and my spiritual ambitions, and gently rebukes me. If I were not given a way out, such an assessment would sound like a sentence, and I would no longer be able to change anything. But I am sent advice with the resulting blessings and explanations.

No matter how well I live in this world, in the eyes of Heaven our Earth is Sodom, and all its values are Babylon. Everything that was given to man has been defiled by sin. And even the best things, falling into the hands of wicked people, become a curse.

But in this world, there are islands of safety - God's churches, where God's law is exalted, where the Holy Spirit reigns, where the grace of the Lord rules. And everyone who comes to Jesus receives spiritual healing. But involvement in the church and repentance of sins imply spiritual growth and constant cleansing of human consciousness in the streams of living water of Divine light. I take a step of faith towards the Heavenly Father, and God accepts me into His embrace, like a prodigal son. He solemnly removes my sinful clothes from me and gives me the garments of light of Christ's righteousness. I don't see this, but I believe that it is so, and that this is a special sign of my distinction in the eyes of Heaven.

My spiritual growth gives me new knowledge through the study of spiritual books and prayer. And my personal experience of life with God records in my memory all the victories that I win, resisting the temptations of this world. I have chosen a life with God and I build it so that everything in it meets His requirements and corresponds to Heavenly standards. But I have not been in Heaven, and I don't know how clean it is there, so my idea of immaculacy differs from the Heavenly one. But the Lord knows all this, because He lived among us and saw this world through our eyes.

No matter how holy and righteous I feel, there will always be something that still needs to be corrected or removed from my life. In my heart there is something that makes me hot, and there is something that I don't develop, and it cools me down. And the mixture of these qualities of my soul is a lukewarm state in God's eyes. I don't know that I'm like this, and I boldly claim a special divine disposition towards me, and Jesus looks at me with pity and says how wretched I am. Although I cannot immediately agree with such a statement, I understand that the Faithful Witness speaks the truth. And He is right, and I am wretched. To all my arguments and justifications, He does not respond by changing His assessment. Jesus feels aversion to my condition, but at the same time assures me of His love.

The Lord allows certain situations and trials to show me my true face and reveal the cause of my lukewarmness. It is important for Him to open and show me my weak points, so that through these revelations He can draw me to Himself and give me complete healing.

Jesus knows that I cannot fix anything and become better on my own. And ahead of us is a special time of great tribulation, which I must go through. And no matter how ready I am, I can't even imagine what it is. I understand this. And the Lord has provided for me goods that can become mine if I acquire them from Him. Jesus offers me the most amazing deal in the history of the Universe. By advising me to enter into a trading relationship with Him, the Lord thus shows me a way out of my lukewarm state. And from a wretched representative of Heaven, I turn into a worthy hot winner. At a time when none of the holy people will be able to buy or sell anything in earthly Babylon, heavenly trade will not stop, and deals with Christ will continue daily. A winner in spiritual warfare cannot overcome the enemy without weapons, without clothes, without sight. And I have to buy all these armors and learn to use them.

The last war will be similar to the events after the birth of Christ, when all the forces of evil were thrown into battle, and the Lord went with chosen disciples to deserted places and shared special revelations with them. Spiritual leaders were perplexed as to what kind of Messiah this was, who did not free their people from Roman slavery, while Jesus meanwhile taught happiness, love and friendliness, giving a clear example in His life. Would you like to sit at His feet and listen to the words of life? I dream about it.

The last time will contain similar experiences, when among the storms of human and satanic passions, the Lord will not cease to come to me, making purchases in His store, for dinner and share with me special revelations of Heavenly love. At first, I didn't understand why I needed all these goods, but by acquiring them and learning to use them, I can no longer imagine my life without these Heavenly treasures. All my wealth went to the Laodicean store so that I could become the owner of Heavenly goods. And these are not soulless things, but living values of Heaven that make me alive forever. Gaining gold, white clothes and eye salve, I am no longer as wretched as I was at the doors of the store. I believe and love. I see. I completely depend on Christ in anticipation of the next batch of goods, which I immediately begin to distribute and use for victory. It is impossible to keep within yourself the wealth that, like a river, rushed into your life to, passing through the heart, pour into the hearts of those around you.

Comparing my life before entering the Laodicean store and after I became a regular customer in it, I see the difference between who I was and who I became. And it is no longer the Lord, but I myself remember the time when such a wretched creature, which was called me and which I was, thought that it was very rich and had need of nothing.

And now with an abundance of love and light, I thirst for Christ and cannot do without Him. And it is no longer He who stands at my door and knocks to enter, but I stand near it and constantly look outside, and call my dear Guest, who has already become the Master in my house. He doesn't even have time to raise his hand to knock, as I intercept it and pull Him to my dinner to hear new revelations of His love. Just realizing that this is how we will communicate for all Eternity fills me with indescribable joy.

All my knowledge and experiences fade in the light of what the Faithful Witness advises me to buy. Although He sees me as wretched, poor and naked, I myself do not understand this and consider myself self-sufficient. This is like a billionaire meeting a beggar who sits surrounded by bags of waste filled with treasures from garbage cans. What does the rich man see? A wretched homeless person who doesn't even understand how miserable and poor, and blind, and naked he is. And what does the poor man see? Some strange man with an unusual expression on his face is watching my treasures. What does he want? Probably envious. I need to be vigilant, lest he steal something. And the rich man wants to have me as a friend, calls me to himself and offers me in exchange for all my junk beautiful clothes, a house and a job. He calls me wretched. What will I answer? Who of us sees, knows and can do more? I can show all the dumps, and he advises me something better.

Questions for reflection on this chapter

1. Please read Isa. 1:2-20; Rom. 7:14-25; Luke 10:33-34; 15:22; Jer. 3:13; 9:23-24; 22:23; Matt. 9:36; 14:14; Job 16:1-2; John 3:30; James 4:7; Ps. 42:1-3; 46:4-5; 63:1; 137:1-4; Rev. 3:17-20; Isa. 29:8 in light of this chapter.

2. What did you understand from this chapter?

3. Why does the Lord call me wretched?

4. Are you really a wretched person?

5. At what moment can I turn from a wretched person into a worthy and happy one?

6. Does the Lord give me a way out of my lukewarm state? If yes, then what?

7. Why does Jesus advise to buy His goods, and not just give them away?

8. Do you think a wretched person has a chance to become different?

9. Can Jesus help me in any way in my wretched state?

10. Is the wretched state my final fate or the stage of life from which I should get out?

11. What will happen to me if I follow the advice of the Faithful Witness and enter into a trading relationship with Him?

12. Is our School a dealer of the Heavenly Merchant?

13. Is Jesus interested in being my constant Guest at the evening meal at my home? What does this mean?

14. Can I become hot by my own strength? If yes, then how?

15. Who did you see yourself as in this chapter? Why do you think so?